Sunday, February 22, 2015

The Usual Suspects

So, apparently blogging is a part of organized supernatural crime? Interesting.

My name is Justine. I'm formerly a professional thief. Talking about myself in a public venue therefore doesn't come naturally to me, but I'll give it a try. Up until very recently, I stole various paintings, jewels, and other interesting things and sold them to the highest bidder. It wasn't anything like the movies suggest, but it was a lot of fun all the same. I loved every minute of it.

My new line of work, I'm still not sure about. I'm told that most people involved in this mess started out getting followed by the creepy tall thing and then either start running or get recruited. I'm not sure what inspires people to go towards the tall guy instead of running away from it without outside guidance, but in my case, I never really had any of that. Cordelia hired me for my expertise, which unfortunately involved exposing me to all of this

It's pretty interesting, admittedly, if sometimes downright terrifying. I have to say, having some company for once is nice. The kid is good company whichever personality he has on at the moment. Jokes is sometimes good for some fun, though Morningstar is uncomfortably homicidal and doesn't seem to like me much. In addition, Vegas is a fantastic place to spend both money and downtime. There's literally nothing you can't buy here if you figure out where to look. And thanks to Cordelia, I don't even have to worry about lying low, as she's somehow managed to make my arrest warrants disappear.

Not sure if all of this is worth what seems like an inevitable early demise. The hardest part of all of this has been wrapping my brain around the fact that not only does my new boss apparently deal primarily in murder and kidnapping, but that the odds are good that I may eventually be a victim. I mean, I dealt with organized crime from time to time, which doesn't exactly have a high survivability rating, but at least they're just humans. Cordelia... is definitely not just a human. And that thing is much less so. Morningstar too, it seems like. I think I'd feel safer with superpowers like them. Maybe I'll get some eventually. Who knows.

Anyway, I think that's enough sharing for one night. I'll give someone else a turn.


  1. A professional thief? I didn't even know that was a thing. I was pretty sure theft was an underhanded, petty, common, low class crime.

    I wonder if they have positions for Professional Loitering?

    My being an asshole aside, just what exactly does Cordelia need a thief for so consistently that it warranted her exposing you instead of just hiring you as you're needed? So very rude of her.

    1. Hell if I know. Apparently she thinks my skills at breaking into places and sneaking around might come in handy.

      Professional thieving is breaking into highly secured facilities and securing incredibly valuable things. Pretty different from pickpocketing and normal housebreaking, at least in terms of the skill levels and equipment involved.

    2. But its an oxymoron. Professionals don't steal. Their behavior is far to professional to ever allow that.

    3. That doesn't even make sense.

    4. As far as I can tell Cordelia has serious trust issues. She would never hire someone who she can consistently control and keep within her iron-fisted rule. Probably didn't get enough toys as a child so she has to make them out of adults.

      That or she's just disturbingly lonely so she forces all her employees to live with her in some sick imitation of friends. Super pathetic.

      ~The Kor

    5. Holy shit! Fracture does that. But he's like, twice as creepy. Its some freaky Michael Jackson shit happening over here though! It's me, Fracture and like 2 other kids just living in this loop right now.

      I keep waiting for him to bring out the Jesus Juice!

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    7. Jesus Juice sounds like a euphemism. Good luck, kid.