Thursday, February 19, 2015

I'm Not the Funny One

Miss Cordelia said introduce myself, so I’ll introduce myself.

Hi.  My name’s Gray.  I’m fifteen years old, I like the color purple, I’m a high school dropout, I have an alternate personality named The Kor who says hi, by the way, and I’m a runner.

Look at me, summing up my entire self in a sentence.

I’m just kidding, I’ll go into more detail.  Oh that’s another thing about me, my jokes are terrible.  I’d leave the comedy to The Kor but his puns are just painful.  So really, don’t expect much humor from either of us.  I fail to see what there is to laugh at in life most of the time.

I have been a runner since like, September or so.  Actually, runner is a poor term for it since I am constantly staying in one place.  It tends to ruin everything, but that’s me.  I ruin everything.  I’ve killed my dad, I’ve basically killed my mom and I was well on my way to killing myself before Miss Cordelia found me.

If for some reason you care, or maybe you’re just morbidly curious, you can read it in more detail at the blog I kept. It's all there.  I’ll probably keep posting there too.  Call me sentimental, but it’s supposed to be my obituary and so I like keeping my more personal thoughts in my own personal place.  If you don’t feel like reading it then I’ll give you a synopsis:

A pathetic child huddles miserably in the corner of his room crying until he plays with fire and burns everything he’s ever loved.

I’m really on point with those one sentence things.  How convenient that my life is so compressible.

Miss Cordelia pretty much took me in after that, and she’s given me a home.  Even though I’m surrounded by proxies, which kind of terrified me at first, I’m starting to get used to it.  She’s so nice, and no one judges me that I barely come out of my room.  It’s a lot to take in.  I used to live in rural Maine.  The middle of Las Vegas is quite the change.  Overwhelming and noisy would be two good words for it.  Also hot.  Nobody told Nevada that it’s winter.  A lot of Cordelia’s people have been going out and about town, entertaining themselves, but I haven’t really dared to go too far from the house.  Plus I’m too young to gamble or drink so I don’t think that I would find much of this city very fun.

Speaking of the team, I got to meet most of them.  There’s apparently tons of others, but I’ve met all the ones that will be posting on this blog.  Pretty soon probably, because Miss Cordelia has been asking us to introduce ourselves here.

So, I’ll give you some thoughts.  Miss Cordelia first.  She’s super nice.  And she really cares about her team.  She even cares about me despite me not being a proxy.  She’s taken me in and she’s going to train me without asking anything in return.  Oh, the training thing.  She says that apparently I’m a Crafter?  I’m not sure if I believe her yet, but she’s super smart so I guess she’s right.

Vanguard was the second one I met, but less met and more encountered.  He’s super huge, like a football player.  Or a fridge.  But not much for talking.  Kinda really intimidating.  I don’t think I’d like to be in a room alone with him.

Justine is really nice.  She’s a thief apparently, but like, a gentlewoman thief.  Like Robin Hood, I guess.  The Kor really likes her, apparently, which is rare.  And she really likes The Kor which is even rarer cause he kinda has a…strong personality.  I’m happy that they get along.

Jokes I haven’t exactly talked to directly, but I’ve seen him around.  I don’t see him as much cause he doesn’t live in the house.  He seems friendly enough, I don’t know.  Maybe you can get that humor from him since it’s not coming from me.  His name is Jokes, he must be funny, right?

And finally, Morningstar.  This was not someone I ever expected to meet, let alone live under the same roof with.  Or rather, if I did meet him, I didn’t expect to live to type up a blog post about him.  Plus the fact that he died.  Multiple times.  Miss Cordelia said that people get a bit messed up when they die and come back, but he just has this weird feeling.  I can’t explain it like, I’m feeling him without touching him and he’s all squishy and it kinda weirds me out.  Like he’s made of jelly that slides around as he moves.  It’s disturbing, like watching a snake too hard.  I’ve read about him, murdering people and eating people and being generally terrifying but apparently he’s turned a new leaf.  I’m not so trusting that I’ll just believe him, but I also didn’t leave which I guess I could have.  I trust Miss Cordelia if I don’t trust him, and she won’t let him hurt me or anyone else.

We’ll mark him down as another one I don’t want to be alone in a room with.

But this is a group that’s against violence and killing and stuff and I can get behind that.  If we’re all going to die eventually I don’t think it matters whether someone is a proxy or not during their life if it’s what they believe in.  And what helps them be happy.  I have high hopes that I could be happy here.

Catch you later.


  1. I hope you're right and it stays that way kid... by the way. Whats your stance on cult against cult violence? I mean I'm very anti-runner and proxy conflict but... filthy timberwolves aren't really people and stuff.

    1. Of course they're people. People are people are people. Humans shouldn't kill humans.

    2. That sounds and looks real pretty on paper but its impractical. Even if you could convince both parties in a conflict as manufactured as two gods pointing at one another and screaming 'kill' at each other's follows like greedy eldritch children, peace brings it's own ruin.

      Our race would smother itself with a sky rocking population boon with the sudden end of all violence. Even with constant conflict that plagues our world today, even with monsters hunting and feeding on us like cattle behind the scenes, we're already smothering ourselves with our own numbers.

      People need to die. And if there's to be any kind of progress, the right people need to die. Father as my witness, I will make sure it's their people and not mine.

      We may never know peace through violence, but it's the only way we'll ever know tranquility.

    3. Picasso... shut up. You're a bodyguard now.

    4. Fuck you! I can kill things if I want... if they threaten April... and don't back down... or are a rival cult member... I miss the screams.